I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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