this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
