I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
