So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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