I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I have aggressive nipples.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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