I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
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