When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize
