Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
