Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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