wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
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