She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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