Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
