I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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