So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
