I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
