I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
My liver just had a heart attack.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize