I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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