Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
