You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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