dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
