have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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