"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
