i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
