I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
this just has baby written all over it
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
