Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
