He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
