We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
