I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
