A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
There r osticjed everywhere
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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