ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Pants are for mortals
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
