Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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