dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
