just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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