So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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