She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
