I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Randomize