I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
