I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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