the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
