Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
