Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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