I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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