He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize