week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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