try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
