I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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