I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
