My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My penis needs a shock collar
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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