loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
