Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
