why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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