Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Randomize