i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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