i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
