Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
